After several tries at this, I came to realize that it is actually MOM who is being trained...trained to say, at approximately EVERY HOUR of the day, "Do you need to go potty?" or "Let's go potty!", or any other variant of that, ad nauseum....
Make sure that your child is close to at least two years of age before you begin this, especially if you have other children and a busy household.
I finally came up with the idea to make a "ster" chart. You can even use a large calendar on which the days are clearly visible.
EVERY time the child pees in the potty that day, place a star on the chart. If you are lucky enough to catch a B.M. in the pot, then place a sticker on that day for each one. Get some stickers that your child likes.
Of course, you praise them up one side and down the other when they are successful! Plus, the chart is a visual record of their success!
When I started to do this, the child in question was trained in less than two weeks....
2012(approximately 31 years since I trained my last child)
Parents are still agonizing over this subject, if the questions and posts on mamapedia are any indication! Eleven of my twelve grandchildren are trained, many of whom had a "star" chart, I am proud to say! I have shared the idea with many moms over the years...but with the number of questions about it on the mamapedia website, I often wonder if these people ever read the advice that is given to others!
Today, in some cases, bribes are not uncommon, such as, "When you get ? stars/stickers on your Potty Chart, I will take you to the Dollar Store!" Special BIG girl/boy underwear has been purchased, potty books have been read, and, in many cases apparently, the age of training
has been extended into the three's and sometimes four's! Good grief! Thank God that daycares and pre-schools have requirements!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
What About Preschool?
My eldest attended Co-operative preschool at age four. None of the others did, because I realized it was not for me. It did not possess the structure I desired. Children were pretty much allowed to do as they pleased, whereas it is my contention that they need to at least try everything. Some of the boys spent that entire year playing with blocks and trucks!
After that, I utilized short-term programs offered by the city through the Department of Parks and Recreation(six weeks each in the Fall, Winter, and Spring), and then a program offered at Howe High School for a limited number of children in the Fall and Spring.
Of course I supplemented all these programs at home with plenty of crafts, play materials, reading, and so on.....
Looking back, I remember that having the tip of Noelle's finger ripped off by a kid throwing a big wooden block did not help my opinion of Co-op! She often complained that the boys would rampage through the "housekeeping" area, and nothing was ever done about it.....allowing a boy to wear his coat during class annoyed me too....because it was for no other reason than that he did not want to take it off!
My grandchildren have attended Day Care, Co-op's, and church-run pre-school programs, with the desired results.......some structure, socialization, and a little break for mom!
To clarify, the Howe program was an adjunct to a class taught by Mrs. (Blanche?) Ferguson, and gave her students experience working and interacting with children. I hope there are such programs today. Mrs. Ferguson prompted me to enroll Daniel in kindergarten right from her class(around December), I think he had just turned five, and I was able to get him into Miss Schmink's class at OLL for the remainder of the year.
Remember, YOUR reinforcement of the things taught in pre-school, plus your supplemental activities at home and beyond are the things that enable your children to get the most out of
the years before the age of five....the years when their brains are absorbing things like a
sponge....so be sure to help your children be ALL they can be! They will thank you for it one day....mine did:0)
After that, I utilized short-term programs offered by the city through the Department of Parks and Recreation(six weeks each in the Fall, Winter, and Spring), and then a program offered at Howe High School for a limited number of children in the Fall and Spring.
Of course I supplemented all these programs at home with plenty of crafts, play materials, reading, and so on.....
Looking back, I remember that having the tip of Noelle's finger ripped off by a kid throwing a big wooden block did not help my opinion of Co-op! She often complained that the boys would rampage through the "housekeeping" area, and nothing was ever done about it.....allowing a boy to wear his coat during class annoyed me too....because it was for no other reason than that he did not want to take it off!
My grandchildren have attended Day Care, Co-op's, and church-run pre-school programs, with the desired results.......some structure, socialization, and a little break for mom!
To clarify, the Howe program was an adjunct to a class taught by Mrs. (Blanche?) Ferguson, and gave her students experience working and interacting with children. I hope there are such programs today. Mrs. Ferguson prompted me to enroll Daniel in kindergarten right from her class(around December), I think he had just turned five, and I was able to get him into Miss Schmink's class at OLL for the remainder of the year.
Remember, YOUR reinforcement of the things taught in pre-school, plus your supplemental activities at home and beyond are the things that enable your children to get the most out of
the years before the age of five....the years when their brains are absorbing things like a
sponge....so be sure to help your children be ALL they can be! They will thank you for it one day....mine did:0)
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Appearance Matters (but not in the way you might think)
I guess I feel a need to address this subject because of the many children I encounter at school whose parents apparently have NO concern about it.
It is my feeling that every child can be clean and well-groomed in spite of their sociology-economic background.
This, to me, is another way of making sure they feel good about themselves.
For one thing, I always made sure the childrens' hair was trimmed and OUT OF THEIR EYES (forget Nadia's 8th grade picture!). I am not a beautician but I always paid attention when I was at a salon and I would ask questions. I guess that is why I am able to cut hair to some degree. I still trim the girls' hair from time to time and can manage a decent blunt cut. I cut boys' hair when they were small and now only give an infrequent touch-up here and there.
In school, I insisted on compliance with uniform regulations and dress codes. It annoyed me that many parents did not. If children do not learn early on that certain types of clothing are unacceptable in certain situations, there is no magic wand that someone is going to wave when they are 18 or 21 that is going to change their habits.
My mother always thought that my kids' shoes should be cleaner(who in the world ever got the
white shoe thing going anyway?), but I did the best I could!
On to 2012!
A few words of explanation....the hair thing bothered me so much because so many children were distracted by their own hair in the classroom, constantly pushing it out of their eyes and so on, taking away from their learning time. You could tell that many had never been taught to use a brush or a comb either. I have other opinions about hair, but I won't go into them right now!
Today at least some of the public schools have adopted uniforms, which has improved the overall appearance of their students greatly! The first time I drove by a school playground in our urban neighborhood, I was so impressed! I wore uniforms from grades 1-12 and my children wore both uniforms and street clothes, and, as a parent, I can tell you that the uniform thing meant less hassle overall in our household! There was no question about what you were wearing when you got up in the morning....and no wondering if this went with that and so on!
Of course, over the years things have gotten out of control in some areas too, such as the "designer" clothing thing, where labels came to mean too much! We went through some of that,
though usually a little "late"....I remember fighting "Black Friday" crowds for SWATCH shirts!
Nowadays, the whole "body image" thing is so far out of control that it has become, in many cases, a matter of life or death! So very sad...I hope that, at some point, we can return to our senses and to the appreciation of persons for what is inside their hearts:0)
It is my feeling that every child can be clean and well-groomed in spite of their sociology-economic background.
This, to me, is another way of making sure they feel good about themselves.
For one thing, I always made sure the childrens' hair was trimmed and OUT OF THEIR EYES (forget Nadia's 8th grade picture!). I am not a beautician but I always paid attention when I was at a salon and I would ask questions. I guess that is why I am able to cut hair to some degree. I still trim the girls' hair from time to time and can manage a decent blunt cut. I cut boys' hair when they were small and now only give an infrequent touch-up here and there.
In school, I insisted on compliance with uniform regulations and dress codes. It annoyed me that many parents did not. If children do not learn early on that certain types of clothing are unacceptable in certain situations, there is no magic wand that someone is going to wave when they are 18 or 21 that is going to change their habits.
My mother always thought that my kids' shoes should be cleaner(who in the world ever got the
white shoe thing going anyway?), but I did the best I could!
On to 2012!
A few words of explanation....the hair thing bothered me so much because so many children were distracted by their own hair in the classroom, constantly pushing it out of their eyes and so on, taking away from their learning time. You could tell that many had never been taught to use a brush or a comb either. I have other opinions about hair, but I won't go into them right now!
Today at least some of the public schools have adopted uniforms, which has improved the overall appearance of their students greatly! The first time I drove by a school playground in our urban neighborhood, I was so impressed! I wore uniforms from grades 1-12 and my children wore both uniforms and street clothes, and, as a parent, I can tell you that the uniform thing meant less hassle overall in our household! There was no question about what you were wearing when you got up in the morning....and no wondering if this went with that and so on!
Of course, over the years things have gotten out of control in some areas too, such as the "designer" clothing thing, where labels came to mean too much! We went through some of that,
though usually a little "late"....I remember fighting "Black Friday" crowds for SWATCH shirts!
Nowadays, the whole "body image" thing is so far out of control that it has become, in many cases, a matter of life or death! So very sad...I hope that, at some point, we can return to our senses and to the appreciation of persons for what is inside their hearts:0)
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Reading and Writing With Children
I read to the children every day and often Dad read to them on weekends.
We attended many, many library programs and the children got cards as soon as they could print their names. At home we had many, many books...some that I had as a child, and others that I bought. Garage sales are a good source of books.
I always encouraged them to learn their ABC's early. In the car we would look for the letters on signs and billboards. At home we used the computer paper that Dad brought home, tied it into a book, and on each page printed a letter (upper and lower case). Then we encouraged the children to find and cut pictures from magazines or catalogues that began with the letter, and pasted it on the appropriate page.
Today, I remember that every day between 1:00 and 1:30 p.m. was story time before naps. There were bedtime stories sometimes too. Plus, our children knew that both their parents loved to read...books, newspapers, and magazines, so we were teaching by example too. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of books in the home....I give my grandchildren books that I find now at Goodwill, thrift stores, and Big Lots...I keep books that I can read to them when they visit. I have Christmas books for the holidays, and I give out Halloween, Easter, Valentine, and patriotic stories as the season indicates, if I have them.
Pre-school children can "write" stories or sentences by dictating to you. Have them draw a picture. Then ask them about it. Print their description of it at the bottom before you
display it or send it to Grandma. Point to each word you have written and help them "read" it.
In your home, with your young child(ren), label familiar objects (door, pillow, window, chair, etc.) by printing its name on an index card and taping up the card on the object. Have the child look at the card from time to time, say the word, and spell it(with help, if necessary).
When learning ABC's, try to always say the consonant sounds and have the child repeat it.
Remind them that familiar names of things or animals, or people, begin with (?)....you can do this with an infant or toddler as well....it is important for them to hear those sounds often.
Back in the day of the "giant" computer paper, Donald brought home enough "bound" good sized "books" that each child was able to have one. At least every other page was blank, if not more, so they were ideal for the children to draw and color in. Being able to have space to draw, write, and color is essential for good eye-hand coordination, and fine motor skills are something that need to be developed, ideally before kindergarten. Today there are newsprint tablets available for a reasonable price, chalkboard paint can transform a space into a drawing area, sidewalk chalk is fun outside, you can use copy paper or even blank sides of scrap paper for drawing, coloring or writing!
More on "learning" later......
We attended many, many library programs and the children got cards as soon as they could print their names. At home we had many, many books...some that I had as a child, and others that I bought. Garage sales are a good source of books.
I always encouraged them to learn their ABC's early. In the car we would look for the letters on signs and billboards. At home we used the computer paper that Dad brought home, tied it into a book, and on each page printed a letter (upper and lower case). Then we encouraged the children to find and cut pictures from magazines or catalogues that began with the letter, and pasted it on the appropriate page.
Today, I remember that every day between 1:00 and 1:30 p.m. was story time before naps. There were bedtime stories sometimes too. Plus, our children knew that both their parents loved to read...books, newspapers, and magazines, so we were teaching by example too. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of books in the home....I give my grandchildren books that I find now at Goodwill, thrift stores, and Big Lots...I keep books that I can read to them when they visit. I have Christmas books for the holidays, and I give out Halloween, Easter, Valentine, and patriotic stories as the season indicates, if I have them.
Pre-school children can "write" stories or sentences by dictating to you. Have them draw a picture. Then ask them about it. Print their description of it at the bottom before you
display it or send it to Grandma. Point to each word you have written and help them "read" it.
In your home, with your young child(ren), label familiar objects (door, pillow, window, chair, etc.) by printing its name on an index card and taping up the card on the object. Have the child look at the card from time to time, say the word, and spell it(with help, if necessary).
When learning ABC's, try to always say the consonant sounds and have the child repeat it.
Remind them that familiar names of things or animals, or people, begin with (?)....you can do this with an infant or toddler as well....it is important for them to hear those sounds often.
Back in the day of the "giant" computer paper, Donald brought home enough "bound" good sized "books" that each child was able to have one. At least every other page was blank, if not more, so they were ideal for the children to draw and color in. Being able to have space to draw, write, and color is essential for good eye-hand coordination, and fine motor skills are something that need to be developed, ideally before kindergarten. Today there are newsprint tablets available for a reasonable price, chalkboard paint can transform a space into a drawing area, sidewalk chalk is fun outside, you can use copy paper or even blank sides of scrap paper for drawing, coloring or writing!
More on "learning" later......
Friday, January 27, 2012
Dance Lessons
My mother knew a little girl who took tap at Dance Arts Studio and so she gave Noelle lessons at age 5 (1974). This began years of tap, acrobatics, ballet, and jazz for ALL of the children. My mother subsidized many of the lessons and helped with many costumes. Luckily it was a very reputable studio where we certainly received our money's worth.
I spent many hours watching lessons. The teacher, Patricia Heath, was one who advanced the children as their ability allowed (she did not teach the same thing all year), and she choreographed each dance from scratch (others teach the same routines over and over). We had a recital every other year (it is just too much to do it annually), and our lessons were year-round. If a student missed a class, he or she scheduled a make-up class to learn whatever had been missed.
At Dance Arts, students were not admitted until age 5, ballet was not taught until age 9 or so, and jazz was not offered until age 11 or 12 or older. I found, over the years, that these are sound practices.
I highly recommend tap dancing for children...it develops coordination, memory, counting and so on....there is just nothing like watching them really having to THINK! If a particular step required real concentration, it was often referred to as a "think" step!
Acrobatics is a great way to give a child self-esteem! As a child, I was never even able to do a somersault or a cartwheel, much less a backbend or a headstand! I made sure that all my children could do these things...you would be surprised how they impressed their peers in school gym classes, etc.
I admit I bribed them, especially on backbends. I think Nadia was the only one who ever did a back handspring, and no one has done an aerial cartwheel, but I know it has been good for them to know that they accomplished all those other stunts!
We participated in dance competitions early on and it added a new dimension to our lives. We really got to enjoy it and saw such places as St. Louis, Myrtle Beach, Louisville, and Columbus, OH, because of it. The many trophies won by the kids I guess made up for the ones I longed for as a child...
For the most part I did not insist on practice, but they seemed to do it on their own. I did demand it before contests, however, because those entry fees etc., are a big investment. Their teacher and I only asked that they do their best...the winning or losing was always up to the judges....
Looking back....a few comments....
I took tap and jazz for a while and was in two recitals with the children, and in one contest.
My experience was nothing like the one you might see today on DANCE MOMS, the reality show. I made many friends at the studio and we had fun. Two of my daughters, two granddaughters, and one grandson, are taking at the same studio today. Several of my daughters worked there during high school too. The twenty-plus years there was an invaluable family experience for all of us, and the structure provided lessons that have served us well.
I forgot to mention that not only did Dance Arts put on programs in the community when asked, but our family put on a few itself for our parish and for a couple of other gatherings!
I spent many hours watching lessons. The teacher, Patricia Heath, was one who advanced the children as their ability allowed (she did not teach the same thing all year), and she choreographed each dance from scratch (others teach the same routines over and over). We had a recital every other year (it is just too much to do it annually), and our lessons were year-round. If a student missed a class, he or she scheduled a make-up class to learn whatever had been missed.
At Dance Arts, students were not admitted until age 5, ballet was not taught until age 9 or so, and jazz was not offered until age 11 or 12 or older. I found, over the years, that these are sound practices.
I highly recommend tap dancing for children...it develops coordination, memory, counting and so on....there is just nothing like watching them really having to THINK! If a particular step required real concentration, it was often referred to as a "think" step!
Acrobatics is a great way to give a child self-esteem! As a child, I was never even able to do a somersault or a cartwheel, much less a backbend or a headstand! I made sure that all my children could do these things...you would be surprised how they impressed their peers in school gym classes, etc.
I admit I bribed them, especially on backbends. I think Nadia was the only one who ever did a back handspring, and no one has done an aerial cartwheel, but I know it has been good for them to know that they accomplished all those other stunts!
We participated in dance competitions early on and it added a new dimension to our lives. We really got to enjoy it and saw such places as St. Louis, Myrtle Beach, Louisville, and Columbus, OH, because of it. The many trophies won by the kids I guess made up for the ones I longed for as a child...
For the most part I did not insist on practice, but they seemed to do it on their own. I did demand it before contests, however, because those entry fees etc., are a big investment. Their teacher and I only asked that they do their best...the winning or losing was always up to the judges....
Looking back....a few comments....
I took tap and jazz for a while and was in two recitals with the children, and in one contest.
My experience was nothing like the one you might see today on DANCE MOMS, the reality show. I made many friends at the studio and we had fun. Two of my daughters, two granddaughters, and one grandson, are taking at the same studio today. Several of my daughters worked there during high school too. The twenty-plus years there was an invaluable family experience for all of us, and the structure provided lessons that have served us well.
I forgot to mention that not only did Dance Arts put on programs in the community when asked, but our family put on a few itself for our parish and for a couple of other gatherings!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Travel Time With Children
Be advised that the following was written BEFORE seat belt laws, booster seats, and airbags! Car seats were not mandated, and our children played on the floor of our van where we had removed the middle seat and spread blankets! My husband built a wooden platform behind the rear seat of our VW van, outfitted it with a thick, cloth-covered foam rubber pad and pillows, and our children read, napped, and played there back in the days of the mid to late 70's!
Breastfeeding always made it easy to travel with an infant. We have taken numerous car trips around the U.S., a few plane trips, and a couple of train trips. I always tried to have plenty for the kids to do...books, games, small toys, etc.
Often I would purchase things at garage sales that were " new" to my kids and save them for trips.
One thing that I did many times was to make or copy outline maps of the U.S. and give one to each child. Then, as we spotted license plates of different states, they would color in that state. It was always interesting to see how many of the states' plates we would see on our way to New Hampshire, for instance, or on our way to Nebraska or New Mexico! Plus, it was reinforcing U.S. geography at the same time. As they got older we would discuss the states more in detail, its capital, history, and if we had been there before....and maybe read from the AAA travel guide.
In May of 1973, when I had three children ages 4, 3, and 1 1/2, I took them on a 24 hour train trip to Boston. I talked to them about it for three months beforehand, explaining each leg of the trip. What the train would be like, and how we would have to change trains in NYC. I took a very lightweight holdup stroller for the youngest, and carried our immediate necessities in a backpack. My mother made little backpacks for each child in which to carry some little toys. Our other bags were checked through.
Just to ensure that no one would get too far from me in crowded Penn Station, Donald placed wrist straps at the ends of ropes which were able to be attached to a belt around my waist by means of spring clips. This meant that my hands were free to push the stroller and that those children could hold on or walk near me without getting away! This device proved to be a godsend in the crowd we encountered on our way to our train. We had a great trip!
In the car, metal cafeteria trays made great lap trays for playing cards, coloring, building with Legos etc. Those little Hot Wheels cars or game pieces wouldn't roll off. We played lots of "Riddley, Riddley Ree! and spotting the ABC's on road signs and billboards, and Travel Bingo too.
As the children got older they would take turns sitting up front with the driver and following the map or TRIPTIK route we would get from AAA. It was always fun to count down the miles to our next destination!
Breastfeeding always made it easy to travel with an infant. We have taken numerous car trips around the U.S., a few plane trips, and a couple of train trips. I always tried to have plenty for the kids to do...books, games, small toys, etc.
Often I would purchase things at garage sales that were " new" to my kids and save them for trips.
One thing that I did many times was to make or copy outline maps of the U.S. and give one to each child. Then, as we spotted license plates of different states, they would color in that state. It was always interesting to see how many of the states' plates we would see on our way to New Hampshire, for instance, or on our way to Nebraska or New Mexico! Plus, it was reinforcing U.S. geography at the same time. As they got older we would discuss the states more in detail, its capital, history, and if we had been there before....and maybe read from the AAA travel guide.
In May of 1973, when I had three children ages 4, 3, and 1 1/2, I took them on a 24 hour train trip to Boston. I talked to them about it for three months beforehand, explaining each leg of the trip. What the train would be like, and how we would have to change trains in NYC. I took a very lightweight holdup stroller for the youngest, and carried our immediate necessities in a backpack. My mother made little backpacks for each child in which to carry some little toys. Our other bags were checked through.
Just to ensure that no one would get too far from me in crowded Penn Station, Donald placed wrist straps at the ends of ropes which were able to be attached to a belt around my waist by means of spring clips. This meant that my hands were free to push the stroller and that those children could hold on or walk near me without getting away! This device proved to be a godsend in the crowd we encountered on our way to our train. We had a great trip!
In the car, metal cafeteria trays made great lap trays for playing cards, coloring, building with Legos etc. Those little Hot Wheels cars or game pieces wouldn't roll off. We played lots of "Riddley, Riddley Ree! and spotting the ABC's on road signs and billboards, and Travel Bingo too.
As the children got older they would take turns sitting up front with the driver and following the map or TRIPTIK route we would get from AAA. It was always fun to count down the miles to our next destination!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Mattress
One of the best things we ever did was to place a full-size mattress on the floor in a corner of our playroom! It had come with the first house we had bought and was nearly new....we took it along to our bigger house six years later and it was used for a total of 10-12 years!
It was a resting place where, every afternoon, all of us would lie down crossways, read 2-3 storybooks, and then fall asleep for a nap. It was our rule for a long time that everyone take a nap until age five....or at least rest and/or play quietly, including me and sometimes our cat, Buckwheat, and later, Sparky....
The most memorable breach of that rule was when my oldest got into my nail polish and "decorated" my bedroom mirror at our first house. Otherwise it worked pretty well for all of us, including Dad on weekends....
The mattress served as an exercise mat too, well-suited for jumping, rolling, somersaults, and the like. It especially came in handy in the winter, when much outdoor exercise was not available.
Plus, the children who were in beginning acrobatics all learned back bends on that well-padded surface.....
Many a sleepyhead in p.j.'s fell asleep on its "PEANUTS" characters' fitted sheet in the evenings and was carried and/or guided up to bed at a later hour.
When the time came, it was really hard to let it go, and I have recommended having even a twin-size one to many parents over the years, for the exercise value alone!
It was a resting place where, every afternoon, all of us would lie down crossways, read 2-3 storybooks, and then fall asleep for a nap. It was our rule for a long time that everyone take a nap until age five....or at least rest and/or play quietly, including me and sometimes our cat, Buckwheat, and later, Sparky....
The most memorable breach of that rule was when my oldest got into my nail polish and "decorated" my bedroom mirror at our first house. Otherwise it worked pretty well for all of us, including Dad on weekends....
The mattress served as an exercise mat too, well-suited for jumping, rolling, somersaults, and the like. It especially came in handy in the winter, when much outdoor exercise was not available.
Plus, the children who were in beginning acrobatics all learned back bends on that well-padded surface.....
Many a sleepyhead in p.j.'s fell asleep on its "PEANUTS" characters' fitted sheet in the evenings and was carried and/or guided up to bed at a later hour.
When the time came, it was really hard to let it go, and I have recommended having even a twin-size one to many parents over the years, for the exercise value alone!
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